Photo by Sébastien Bourguet on Unsplash

David Lynch is one of the greatest filmmakers and artists of all time. Maybe even the greatest. His work changed film and television. But there are a lot of franchises he was rightly kept away from, and even more he was never interested in. With Lynch, nothing is simple even when it should be. When you want to sit down and enjoy an easy watch, you don’t pull out Inland Empire, Twin Peaks, Lost Highway or Mulholland Drive. But we want to add a dash of Lynch to some of our favourite memories of cinema and television. 

Rocky’s Highway

If Lynch were given the helm with Rocky, we would see that Rocky never won the world title. He never even got a title shot. The original was his fantasy as a debt collector and part-time meet packer. He never met Adrian. He instead fantasised about her. What is true is that Rocky is a serial killer, and his fights with Apollo Creed, Clubber Lang and Ivan Drago were all street brawls he started. When Rocky’s truth is revealed, the people he killed are no match for him. And he is a divorced dad of two and still collecting on the streets, but not as successfully as before, given his age. Rocky has reached his Last Highway. He is old, regretful, resentful, and he imagines how things would have been different. And yes, old Rocky would be played by Balthazar Getty. 

Star Wars – Return of the (Doppelganger Jedi)

This could have actually happened. If Lynch were given a remake of Return of the Jedi, Luke fails the test and gives in to his anger and splits into two Lukes. The bad Luke wins, kills Vader and Sidious and rules the Galaxy even more brutally than the Sith ever did. All the Wookies get vaporised, and as for Han Solo, he gets put back into stasis. Luke marries Leia, and it is every bit as creepy. It’s a Lynchian adaptation to a Lucas world. You won’t want another episode after this. Instead, it will be a deep pit of regret and sorrow. 

True Detective – Oh No, Time Travel

In the David Lynch world of True Detective, things go down pretty much the same way. Except we get one more episode. Rust and Marty go back in time to save the dead victims. But they break time and unleash ‘The Man with the Scars’ into a new reality. Because with Lynch, the best detectives can never just leave it alone. Of course, when Rust and Marty return, nobody knows them, but Rust’s daughter, Sophia, is alive in this new reality and has ‘scars’. 

Some More Lynchian Interpretations

La La Land – Seb murders Mia. Of course he does. She becomes successful and wants to move on. But Seb is not the same man in the Lynchian universe. Mia cannot be allowed to move forward in life. 

Barbie – When Barbie crosses over, he is a murderous prostitute obsessed with fame. Turns out Barbie needed to stay in her lane. As for Ken, every time he tries to help Barbie, he breaks reality and becomes a darker version upon each new reality. 

Wonder Woman – You can forget the supernatural backstory; Wonder Woman would be closer to Pearl. As for the death of Steve, you don’t need me to tell you who did this.

The Incredible Hulk – The Green Hulk is a fantasy. Bruce is a timid office worker and resentful of his colleagues. He instead poisons their coffee in a cowardly way before he gets caught in the end and cries endlessly during his interrogation. If Dale Cooper can’t be a hero, what chance has the Hulk?

Like most directors, Lynch has tropes and rules. Just like Biopics and History movies, there are the right people and the wrong people.